“Let HER Shine” – Jealousy Feigns Scarcity

Your dear friend and colleague just received an award, a speaking invite, or landed the ideal client. You’re thrilled for her, but you feel a little twinge of jealousy. Don’t worry, you’re not alone, and you’re not evil!

This feeling is, in part, a result of the long-held belief that women are competing for limited space at the table. Whether that figurative table is a boardroom, a spot at a top design agency or a coveted brand collaboration, women often fall prey to the belief that there’s only space for some of us, and that her success ultimately means your loss.

Let me clearly state, success is not a limited resource!

Acted upon twinges of jealousy, feed into scarcity mentality. What you choose to do next, will show the world your mindset. What you want to do next, will show you your mindset.

Do you congratulate her, while seething to another? Do you take a good look at her journey of hard work and shine more light on her? Do you do nothing?

Answering the “what you do” and “what you want to do” question will help you oftentimes take a hard look at your mindset. These sometimes innocuous acts and thoughts have a negative effect on us and other women entrepreneurs as we try to grow our businesses.

Scarcity mentality refers directly to this untrue belief that resources are limited and that one’s success is dependent on the failure of others. This mindset leads us to feelings of fear, anxiety, and competitiveness, which is detrimental to the growth of our business and impedes our collaborative relationships.

For women entrepreneurs, scarcity mentality can manifest in a number of other ways.

• We may be less likely to take risks, as we are then afraid of failure.
• We may also be more likely to compare ourselves to other successful entrepreneurs, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and the dark spiral that is imposter syndrome.
• Additionally, we may be more likely to focus on competition rather than collaboration, which can impede our ability to form partnerships and grow our networks.

It is important to note that scarcity mentality can also be exacerbated by societal biases and discrimination that we as women entrepreneurs already face in the business world. See my previous post “Let HER Shine” – Misogyny in Design

An abundance mentality is the opposing belief that there are enough resources for everyone to succeed. Adopting this mentality doesn’t always come naturally. This mindset is characterized by:

• feelings of generosity
• cooperation
• focusing on opportunities rather than limitations

I like to think of abundance mentality as the we all rise together mentality. Reframing other’s success’ can sometimes take work, but it is the way to shining so bright that others find their way too.

The more we uplift and celebrate other women, the more we’ll feel uplifted and celebrated in return.

In conclusion, jealousy can feign scarcity mentality. Which can affect us, women entrepreneurs as we are trying to grow our businesses. It can manifest in a number of ways, such as a reluctance to take risks, feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, and a focus on competition rather than collaboration.

However, it’s also possible for us to choose to adopt an abundance “we rise together” mentality which can lead to more positive relationships and a female focused future. Pay attention to how you think and how you choose to act about other women’s success. This is how we Let HER Shine!